Well folks, here we are at the end of this once seemingly-endless Night of 1000 Millas with all six of the films in the Alice saga in the rearview window of our snow cars. It was a clone-derful journey, full of pretty much all of my favorite Resident Evil characters, like ten iterations of The Red Queen, so many zombie dogs, a gun that shoots quarters, and Ruby Rose. What a time! What a perfectly delightful way to spend approximately twelve of my remaining hours left on Earth.

Of course, questions remain, questions that may remain until Elderly Wheelchair Alice makes an appearance at some point in the future, popping wheelies and dual-wielding jugs of Metamucil. I am furiously refreshing Fandango already! But until then, one must ask: Where the hell did everyone go in between Retribution and The Final Chapter? What happened in DC?

I went into detail in this week’s episode, of course, but my ultimate—or current, anyway—ranking of the movies is:

1. Apocalypse

2. Retribution

3. Resident Evil

4. Afterlife

5. Extinction

6. The Final Chapter

Yes, I have Apocalypse as my number one. I feel good about it! It made me laugh. It was supremely silly. Alice and the Nemesis punched each other. Jill Valentine was there. It may not have been the best of the bunch, but it was the best to me.

I had such a great time with this retrospective. Watching Milla Jovovich flip around, throw ninja stars, shoot quarters out of a gun, ride a motorcycle, zip line down skyscrapers, run down skyscrapers, and stick it to The Man is exactly what I needed. All hail Alice, Queen of the Clones!

(And Jill Valentine, Master of Unlocking.)